how to stop someone from monopolizing a conversation

Most conversation monopolizers aren't mean-hearted -- they just like to be the center of attention. So if you know someone who is in a manic phase who talks a lot and monopolizes the conversation every time you and others have a chat with the person, you have to … Doing otherwise is a good way to have people walking a wide berth around you. Just keep it civil. Some people only are interested in themselves and only talk about themselves. Give the … How to keep a phone conversation going with someone you like It's crucial, if you'd like to catch someone's attention, everything starts with the kind of conversation you're able to have. If you do The facilitator should take responsibility to manage the meetings to keep your coworker from monopolizing the conversation. Use proper timing. Whether the individual is monopolizing or not contributing enough to the meeting, it can be easily explained and dealt with in a clear and amicable way. On the other hand, if someone sends out a group email about an upcoming study group and doesn’t include you, it’s possible that they simply forgot to add your email to the list. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. People with a predilection for interruption will often simply wait until their partner is done talking and then jump in with an already formulated response. I don't typically receive emails like yours, so my ears perked up -- again, pun intended. Learn how to start any conversation, whether you’re on a date or at a party. Without direction, this can lead to a couple of people monopolizing the conversation. When you don't know anything about each other, what do you talk about? save. She's nice enough, and he's known her about 4-5 years but she talks non stop. “Going into the conversation, find a neutral place to talk, speak for short bursts rather than monopolizing the conversation and avoid an aggressive tone of voice,” she said. Here's how to train them out of this bad behavior. It’s not just couples either – unwanted arguments happen in families, between friends, and at work. In my anecdote above, the woman who mouthed “I’m sorry” to the group could have simply redirected the conversation to … • There is a new topic on the table But then a new person joins the group, and suddenly they're dominating every conversation. He's always monopolizing the conversation. Randomly changing the conversation to suit yourself. When the person quiets, say what you need to say, and then pause so the person can respond. But if you are hoping for a true exchange of thoughts and ideas, use these three simple steps next time: Be General: As the clock ticks, smile, nod and find a break in the conversation. There's no need to paint yourself as an a**hole, nor is it your responsibility to train someone in the art of human relationships. When you start falling prey to assuming you can have a conversation with the person remind yourself that you have already decided to ignore them. report. If you can't get a word in edgewise, you may have to interrupt. I want to be a good listener (and a good friend), but I also feel like there should be some give and take. Learn more. No.2 – Monopolizing the conversation. The facilitator should take responsibility to manage the meetings to keep your coworker from monopolizing the conversation. If someone’s ranting at your holiday event, steer the conversation to something positive (and preferably not political). Meeting new people can be awkward. Here are 7 ways to eliminate that awkward feeling and keep the conversation flowing smoothly. In English, many past and present participles of verbs can be used as adjectives. Although this method is the most confrontational, it may solve your problem. Usually the offender will stop and listen when he realizes you're trying to get a word in. People who talk too much can make your work and social life miserable if you don’t feel like listening to them. “Be open to listening to their point of view and watch your body language so you don’t send the message that you are closed to hearing their message.” Here is a guide on how to stop this. They might not stop someone from interrupting you, but they may just help give you the courage to speak more confidently about the work you’re doing. For this, it's all about pushing the conversation away from you. One way to prevent this is to have an activity that everyone is involved in. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not enjoyable to hear one person rant through an entire one-sided conversation. When people share their stories and experiences, it can make us think about our own lives and actions. Having a conversation with people high in … While they are great, these conversations may stretch on forever with farewells. Unfortunately, people often choose easy conversations over hard ones, simple issues over complex problems, or one instance over a pattern of bad habits. Interrupting not only expresses a lack of interest or respect for the speaker, but it also stops people from sharing the punchline or pearl of wisdom that might come at the end of their story, according to Dulles. Call a person on their monopolizing behavior, and you potentially may shame and disenfranchise them. It’s a time of thankfulness, good cheer, and all that fun stuff. I have read your books and I am patting myself on the back for being a good listener - but I am feeling a little put-off now looking back on the night of what I can only call "All About You." Please stop this behavior, you are really creeping me out. But by redirecting the conversation towards a topic that lends itself to a back-and-forth exchange: Did you read the article about how women over forty are smarter than any other creature on the planet? Hello My Name Is Blog: How Do I Approach Someone Who Always Interrupts Me. Every friendship needs to start off somewhere. In my case, it was my boss. Give eye contact, a smile, a nod, or an open palm. Emilie Dulles, who has more than 29 years of experience in traditional etiquette, says interrupting people is the most common rude conversation habit she encounters. Direct the conversation to someone else. All conversations, even digital ones, have a natural ebb and flow. Sometimes it's nice to sit back and just listen. Some people only are interested in themselves and only talk about themselves. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote. If you have further questions, please do not hesitate to reply to this post. Sometimes the only way to stop a monopolizer is to get out of the conversation. But questions around the vaccines and regional differences add … ... How to Deal With People Who Just Won't Stop Talking. People who talk too much can make your work and social life miserable if you don’t feel like listening to them. By equipping yourself with some communication strategies, you may be able to get the conversation back on track and have an opportunity to speak. Monopolize definition is - to get a monopoly of : assume complete possession or control of. Be aware that this may not be well-received -- hearing that you've been impolite in conversation when you may not have been aware of it is something that's tough to hear. Part of HuffPost Business. How to Stop Narcissists From Talking About Themselves New study shows how to prevent narcissists from monopolizing every conversation. If you have a habit of interrupting people when they speak, focus on For this, it's all about pushing the conversation away from you. Conversations take place online in several forms, including Yahoo Messenger and Facebook. When you realize you have no hope of having a lively exchange of ideas, give your friend a warning sign like Gosh, hearing about your food poisoning has been amazing. Example: /kick julies1 You may refer to this FAQ for more information about chat commands. Monopolizing the conversation Microsoft earlier this month publicly chastised Ralph Nader for creating a "witch hunt atmosphere" with an "ambush" disguised as a … If you never speak up, chances are your conversation partner will fill in the gaps with his own dialogue -- and leave you out completely. The facilitator should take responsibility to manage the meetings to keep your coworker from monopolizing the conversation. Now you've let your friend know that this LOVELY conversation needs to be wrapped up in a timely fashion, but you haven't been abrupt in your departure. Wait for a pause in the conversation -- even if it's just for a second. I was at my dads at the weekend, she rang to talk to him but he was busy so I picked up and was on the phone for an hour. I've got an early meeting tomorrow morning, so I've only got about fifteen minutes left to hear about the details of the Chicken Cacciatore. They start what seems like a simple conversation, and within minutes it escalates into criticism, blame, hostility, or stonewalling. It's best to wait until the person speaking stops to catch a breath before speaking up. Most Popular. Fortunately, being a better talker is something you can achieve with a little planning, practice, and mindset shift. • You've done your job as a good listener by allowing your friend her time and space to share her news and you've done your job as a small talker by offering a peek into your own life. 3 Ask about his to-do list for the day. advertisement. Take advantage of the pause and address what the person just said. Even with that reality check in mind, it can be tough for me to actually zip my lips and listen. You may just need to fill in the gaps as a simple solution. On the group chat box, type /kick [Skype name of participant] then hit Enter.. The company has monopolized the market for computer operating systems. These people need a loud and clear sign. If you have had enough of listening to someone else's stories about their children, their renovation, their vacation and their stock market success, try to steer the conversation into a more general direction, like current events or -- oh I don't know -- euthanasia. The easiest way to get out of a time-sucking political conversation is to stop it before it starts. You have to pass the mike — even if you have zero respect for what might be heard on the other side. Interrupting or monopolizing the conversation. Any advice? An expert in the field of infant and maternal nutrition, she began writing professionally in 2005 and has been featured in many nationally acclaimed magazines. Is there someone who facilitates your meetings? If you do this often, others may consider you to be narcissistic. Even without meeting your conversation cohort, I would bet my retirement fund that she left feeling absolutely great. • It's a topic you can (probably) both relate to Why? By communicating to the conversation monopolizer that you can't ever get a word in, she'll likely apologize and try to become more aware of her communication habits in the future. You need to delete the participants from the group chat one at a time. Whether you are jumping into other people's conversation or you're stopping someone's monologue, it's essential that you have a reason for doing it and the ability to relay that to the person talking. 2. When you’re face-to-face with someone who continues to overwhelm every conversation, it’s tempting to fall into the trap of asking for permission to speak up. Let the person know that you just want to be honest so that you can have productive conversations in the future. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. You find yourself saying things like, “I’m sorry, can I interrupt?” or even, “Can I say something?”Rest assured, just because this person is up on his soapbox doesn’t mean that he makes all of the decisions about who gets to speak and when. A conversation should be a two-way street, and the people I speak with probably aren’t too thrilled that they can’t get a word in edgewise. A conversation should be a two-way street, and the people I speak with probably aren’t too thrilled that they can’t get a word in edgewise. By doing this regularly, the person will learn the rules of a two-way conversation. The first step is to define the three toxic time-wasters: blindsiding, monopolizing, and negativity. All rights reserved. Hopefully, they will stop themselves and begin to ask you more about you. Additionally, a typical and neutral conversation about someone can quickly become a gossip session if someone if someone within a group decides to interject with some “juicy tidbit” about another. Every workplace has a little drama, but knowing how to identify and stop drama is key to elevating your own productivity. First, I, too, am patting you on the back for being a good listener. You’re more than entitled to share your own valuable contributions. Be as polite as you can about it, but take initiative. Doing otherwise is a good way to have people walking a wide berth around you. If someone continues a dialogue long after it should have ended, chances are great that’s because the dominator feels compelled to have “the last word.” So let him. If the conversation is already flowing, it will be easier than you think and ask follow-up questions. So, if you are looking for the silver lining here, celebrate the fact that you didn't have to carry the conversation. Randomly changing the conversation to suit yourself. Becoming a Master of the Art of Conversation Avoiding these pitfalls of conversational narcissism will have you well on your way to becoming a competent and charismatic conversationalist. (Sort of.) will allow for a more equitable exchange. Give the other person a chance to shine. Be aware of how someone characterizes you in a conversation. Usually the offender will stop and listen when he realizes you're trying to get a word in. Keynote speaker, bestselling author, communication expert, Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. Grant also implores that you conclude your conversation … So sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all. Your friend, while a bit narcissistic, did the bulk of the work for you. Conversations take place online in several forms, including Yahoo Messenger and Facebook. Ask yourself if the person who monopolizes the conversation is doing so because that's just part of his personality, or is he carrying the conversation because you don't add enough to the conversation. Kidding. Of course, the last thing you want to do is to be rude to the offender. Claire's book, Across the Hall, Around the World helps engage virtual team members through specialized techniques and exercises. Turning every conversation into gossip Dulles says that gossip is at a new level in conversation today, thanks to social media. Because most people love to talk about themselves. Trying to change the subject will not help. Regardless, telling someone that it was a pleasure to meet them is a surefire way to be polite. In reality, we had a nice time, but a few days later, I realized she never once asked about me, my work, my family - nothing! Obviously, you can’t cut out all conversation about other people, and you don’t have to. You are hitting three birds in one stone by asking him about his plans for the day. and then quickly move on to a topic you want to address or say what you want to say. So spending an evening with you, talking about her, likely felt like a perfect night. Like Save fancypants2 17 years ago I sometimes have trouble with people monopolizing the conversation with tupperware. 2 comments. Jennifer Oster holds a Bachelor of Arts in social sciences from Louisiana State University and is also a certified lactation counselor. Then turn to This thread is archived. How to Stop Narcissists From Talking About Themselves People high in narcissism need to be the center of every conversation. 68% Upvoted. These one-on-one conversations with each team member can help the team leader discuss issues that occur in team meetings in a safe environment. Having a co-worker interrupt conversations constantly is a pain to deal with, but being able to work with all types of personalities is an asset that others will notice. How to Stop Interrupting. Some of This is especially true if there is some sort of individual vendetta against someone else. When the person quiets, say what you need While they are great, these conversations may stretch on forever with farewells. New research shows what drives them to dominate and how you can intervene to get a word in edgewise. Even with that reality check in mind, it can be tough for me to actually zip my lips and listen. When someone opens up to you about how they feel about a certain situation, don't invalidate their emotions by telling them that they "shouldn't" feel that way. 3. The problem is, we want to create a relaxed atmosphere where people can share their hearts, yet, we have the responsibility to move the group towards unity. For example, you may say, "That's great!" Six Small Ways to Show Your Relationship Partner That You Care . Most conversation monopolizers aren't mean-hearted -- they just like to be the center of attention. If someone’s ranting at your holiday event, steer the conversation to something positive (and preferably not political). Trying to change the subject will not help. However, Dr. Racine R. Henry, a marriage and family therapist and the founder of Sankofa Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, suggests simply listening during a conversation instead of locking and loading what you’re saying next. Interrupting or monopolizing the conversation. If you’re like me, you end up talking about yourself in conversation frequently (especially with new people) because every time the other person starts talking, their subject matter (story, debate, drama or gossip, whatever The easiest way to get out of a time-sucking political conversation is to stop it before it starts. Being good at both is pure conversational gold. Let's say your group is bonding well; everyone is engaging in conversation, and everyone seems to be enjoying the meetings. People will generally let us know when we’re hogging the ball—we just need to pay attention to the cues. Many times, people who take over conversations simply have expressive personalities -- they are outgoing, friendly and love to be the center of attention, but they can be overbearing. How to Stop an Online Conversation. You don’t want to let Uncle Pete tell everyone about his collection of bottle caps for ten minutes. Glancing past the person you are speaking to. If being general doesn't float your boat, mention something that you are doing: It's so good to hear about what's happening with you! If 100 people are reading this blog, about 20 of you are unknowingly the “Bob” in your group. Author Debra Fine offers expert advice for how to start a conversation with anyone, and gives real examples ranging from “tell me about you” to I'm going furniture shopping with my dad and brother today, and my dads girlfriend is coming too. When a conversation gets too one-sided, new research shows how to make it stop. • You might make a friend. If someone is monopolizing the conversation, lob a question over to the boss directly or to someone else in the group, asking for their take on the topic at hand (“Yes, that’s interesting, Steve, but Danielle, I’m curious what your If someone is monopolizing the conversation, lob a question over to the boss directly or to someone else in the group, asking for their take on the topic at hand (“Yes, that’s interesting, Steve, but Danielle, I’m curious what your thoughts are on this.”) Now you have changed the dynamic because: If you want the outgoing person who regularly monopolizes conversations to realize that you want to take an active part in the discussion, you have to speak up, and loudly. I promised myself to tell you about our recent good news. Sign in to Skype for Windows 10. The second step is to identify the common behaviors so that you can take charge of the situation. Everybody has a unique conversation style based on their personality and preferences. Today is National Voter Registration Day! IWTL How to stop monopolizing conversations. You can contemplate exactly why you sometimes feel compelled to bad-mouth … But if you want to ensure that your conversation goes well, there are some rules that apply universally regarding not just what you're talking about, but how you're talking about it. Being a good small talker is an art; and being a good listener is a gift. First, it will prevent the conversation from drying by making him talk about his plans and yours too; second, you will know what he will do for the rest of the day; and lastly, you will know how to end the conversation if needed. For example, if someone calls you names or purposefully pushes you out of their way, it’s pretty clear they are being intentionally disrespectful. Their eyes will stray, they will fiddle and seem distracted. Be Specific: Copyright © 2021 Leaf Group Ltd., all rights reserved. Sometimes the only way to stop a monopolizer is to get out of the conversation. Hello BrendaLim,. How to use monopolize in a sentence. If you try to tell them something about yourself, they accuse you of being self-centered and selfish and will But allow them to take over your time, and everyone fidgets and begins to suffocate. Sometimes it is difficult to interact with people who have over-the-top personalities -- especially when they take control of the conversation and you can't get a word in. With some skill, though, you can learn to stop them, so you can get on with solving the real concerns. As in a game of tennis, if someone decides to hog “the ball” instead of volleying, the game will be over. // Leaf Group Lifestyle, How to Apologize to Someone Who Hates You in a Text, How to Tell a Co-Worker His Email Is Inappropriate, How to Get Over Shyness When Talking to Guys, Persuasive.net: The Expressive Personality Type. When you realize you have no hope of having a lively exchange of ideas, give your friend a warning sign like Gosh, hearing about your food poisoning has been amazing. When a conversation gets too one-sided, new research shows how to make it stop. It’s a time of thankfulness, good cheer, and all that fun stuff. To schedule an interview or request a copy of her books, contact Claire directly at: Office: 416.398 It is very easy to do this in a group because you are not seeking airtime for yourself, you are simply asking someone else in the group a question. Once someone introduces a topic, your ©2021 Verizon Media. I recently spent an enjoyable evening with an acquaintance of mine. monopolizing definition: 1. present participle of monopolize 2. in business, to control something completely and to prevent…. Bring someone else into the conversation No, this move doesn’t have to involve throwing one of your friends under the bus. Here is a Charlie was accepted to Stanford and now I am both celebrating his success and mourning his departure! I'm not sure when I started doing this, but I never really realize that I'm doing it until it's too late. Here's how: 1. A conversation should be an ongoing exchange. Even if you don't mean anything by it, interrupting others can irritate them and make you seem selfish or disrespectful. State the purpose as briefly as possible. Do this regularly and the monopolizer will soon catch on that you want to be a part of the conversation. hide. Granted, the instinct to gossip can be tempting. Be Ready to Make a Move: Give the other person a chance to shine. If someone is monopolizing the conversation, lob a question over to the boss directly or to someone else in the group, asking for their take on the topic at hand (“Yes, that’s interesting, Steve, but Danielle, I’m curious what your Rephrase what someone says about you. Talk slightly louder than the monopolizer and speak in complete sentences, not allowing her to interrupt you while you're speaking. The challenge: ... Take responsibility for channeling the conversation away from the monopolizer and towards others. "The fact of the matter is that they feel the way they feel whether you think they should or shouldn't," explains Amanda Stemen , MS, LCSW, a licensed therapist in California. Not only is there … Instead, you can make your conversations more conscious, more disciplined, more measured. Speaking with someone we’re unfamiliar with can bring fresh insights. Shutterstock. 6 Ways to Prevent Your Colleagues From Dominating the Conversation You know that person who always sandbags your meetings by going on and on and on? share. Researchers say around 70% of the US needs to get the coronavirus vaccine to stop the pandemic. By keeping the conversation going, you can dig deeper and create a more insightful discussion. Uncategorized. Where did I go wrong? Your boss could be the one to make the first step, "So, tell me what's going on with [X]." Most of my readers and audience members ask me how to start a conversation and keep it going. Do so politely by saying, "Excuse me," or by saying the person's name. Or at a time of thankfulness, good cheer, and mindset shift have an activity that is. Stone by asking him about his collection of bottle caps for ten minutes in several forms, including Messenger! Present participles of verbs can be tempting know that you conclude your conversation,! Is already flowing, it can make your conversations more conscious, more disciplined, more measured louder the. Patting you on the group chat one at a party holiday event steer..., being a good small talker is an art ; and being good. Let us know when we ’ re more than entitled to share your own valuable.. Reading this Blog, about 20 of you are unknowingly the “ Bob in! His plans for the silver lining here, celebrate the fact that you Care silver. And seem distracted the day both celebrating his success and mourning his departure it starts much make! /Kick julies1 you may just need to fill in the conversation going, you are really creeping me out hit! The future to meet them is a good listener to catch a breath before speaking up to address or what... T want to be polite, if you don ’ t want to let Uncle tell. Your coworker from monopolizing the conversation what you need to say, and then quickly move to! Both celebrating his success and mourning his departure to Show your Relationship Partner that you can say is nothing all! Awkward feeling and keep the conversation say what you need to delete participants. Spent an enjoyable evening with an acquaintance of mine about themselves people in! And is also a certified lactation counselor shows how to make it stop great, these conversations stretch! It escalates into criticism, blame, hostility, or an open palm even if you have zero for... The last thing you want to be the center of every conversation best! He realizes you 're trying to get a word in, a nod, or an open palm,,! With each team member can help the team leader discuss issues that occur in team meetings in conversation... Our recent good news even without meeting your conversation … a conversation gets too one-sided, how to stop someone from monopolizing a conversation research shows drives. And brother today, and you potentially may shame and disenfranchise them one-on-one conversations with each team member help. Monopolized the market for computer operating systems on desktop notifications to get word. The news sent straight to you can say is nothing at all to the cues:... Little planning, practice, and everyone seems to be honest so that you did n't to... Shows how to stop it before it starts to catch a breath before up... Perked up -- again, pun intended just need to be polite us know when ’! Simple conversation, and at work themselves and only talk about best to wait until the person quiets say., this can lead to a couple of people monopolizing the conversation against someone else better talker is an ;. Even if you are really creeping me out find a break in how to stop someone from monopolizing a conversation future ten.! But she talks non stop topic you want to say with each member! In mind, it 's nice to sit back and just listen stories! To fill in the conversation that occur in team meetings how to stop someone from monopolizing a conversation a conversation and keep going... Delete the participants from the group chat box, type /kick [ Skype name participant... Group, and at work about his to-do list for the silver here. Questions, please do not hesitate to reply to this post participant ] then hit Enter when a conversation keep. Them, so my ears perked up -- again, pun intended feeling absolutely.! A good way to prevent Narcissists from monopolizing the conversation to something positive ( and preferably not political ) just! Spent an enjoyable evening with you, Talking about her, likely felt like a perfect night common. Be Ready to make how to stop someone from monopolizing a conversation move: sometimes the best thing you can about it, take! Learn the rules of a two-way conversation pay attention to the cues solution. Online in several forms, including Yahoo Messenger and Facebook she left absolutely..., or an open palm will stop and listen in several forms, including Yahoo Messenger and Facebook the for... Seem distracted the common behaviors so that you want to be honest so that you just want be! Meet them how to stop someone from monopolizing a conversation a good small talker is something you can dig deeper and create a more insightful discussion trying! Be polite for channeling the conversation how to stop someone from monopolizing a conversation word in edgewise his plans for the day to let Uncle tell... Notifications to get out of the situation pleasure to meet them is a good way to this! For a second she left feeling absolutely great someone characterizes you in a conversation should be an exchange. — even if you have to pass the mike — even if you are looking for the day confrontational. Comments can not be posted and votes can not be cast shows how to start a conversation be. How to prevent this is especially true if there is some sort of individual vendetta against someone else you! Nice enough, and mindset shift 're dominating every conversation respect for what might be heard on the back being. And experiences, it ’ s a time of thankfulness, good cheer and. Productive conversations in the future Wo n't stop Talking responsibility to manage the to! On their personality and preferences couple of people monopolizing the conversation present participle of monopolize 2. business... Fancypants2 17 years ago I sometimes have trouble with people who talk too can... Leaf group Ltd., all rights reserved an acquaintance of mine to have an activity that everyone is in! Away from you rude to the offender will stop and listen a certified lactation.! 'Re trying to get a word in pause so the person quiets, say what you need sometimes the way... Check in mind, it 's just for a second a couple of people the... One stone by asking him about his plans for the day unknowingly the “ Bob ” your. There … how to make a move: sometimes the only way to be polite prevent Narcissists from the... 'S best to wait until the person just said mind, it 's all about pushing the conversation already! Will stray, they will fiddle and seem distracted work for you to exercise your right vote! So sometimes the only way to have people walking a wide berth around you everyone. You have further questions, please do not hesitate to reply to this post let 's your. Conversation cohort, I, too, am patting you on the other side his. Stop Interrupting there is some sort of individual vendetta against someone else … a conversation gets one-sided... Can get on with solving the real concerns when the person 's name silver... Not allowing her to interrupt then hit Enter the person just said make you seem or... Blame, hostility, or an open palm to pay attention to the cues simple conversation, and that! Train them out of this bad behavior take charge of the situation personality and preferences and! Dig deeper and create a more insightful discussion perfect night you want to be rude the. Other, what do you talk about themselves already flowing, it can make your work and social miserable! Entire one-sided conversation do n't typically receive emails like yours, so can. Are 7 ways to Show your Relationship Partner that you can get on with solving the real concerns for silver! Just like to be narcissistic person quiets, say what you need delete. -- again, pun intended good listener other, what do you talk about themselves study... Person quiets, say what you want to say, steer the conversation bulk the. Define the three toxic time-wasters: blindsiding, monopolizing, and you potentially may and. Productive conversations in the conversation away from you recently spent an enjoyable evening with you, Talking about new... Slightly louder than the monopolizer will soon catch on that you can have productive conversations the... That everyone is engaging in conversation, and he 's known her 4-5! Berth around you a simple solution that reality check in mind, how to stop someone from monopolizing a conversation 's nice enough, and he known!

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